One night a few months back, my younger son was getting ready for bed. As I prepared to say goodnight while tucking him in, he looked up at me and said, “dad, I’ve made a lot of assists in my games these past few years â I don’t remember how many. But I’ve scored 31 goals. And you know what? You were there and saw every one of them.”
My son might not have realized it in the moment, but he had just given me one of the most wonderfully heartfelt complements I’ve ever received.
To this day, I’ve never missed one of my son’s soccer games and I’ve made it to almost all of his practices. On those rare occasions when coach asked me to help run a practice, I felt like there was no place on earth I’d rather be than touching grass with my son and his soccer pals.
My dad taught me how to ski when I was 4 years old. We spent countless vacations and weekends together skiing in . It was only years later when I realized it was not about the skiing but the glorious father-son time we spent together, that ultimately mattered most to both of us. Ski trips created opportunities for us to bond over what interested us, usually Boston sports teams, history, and foreign policy. Especially over meals together and car time, we built a close relationship and even if as a teenager I might not have been ready to admit it, my dad became a role model, who showed me how family was by far the most important part of our lives.
On Father’s Day, my thoughts also turn to my friend and former colleague Dave Tyson and Mike Spann, a Marine Corps officer and CIA paramilitary Case Officer, whom I will always regret I never had the honor of meeting in person. Mr. Tyson and Mr. Spann were part of the eight-man “Team Alpha”, the first Americans to infiltrate Afghanistan and take the fight to the Taliban as part of Operation Enduring Freedom following the 9/11 terrorist attacks.
On 25 November 2001, they were collecting intelligence from hundreds of ruthless al Qaeda fighters who had been detained at Qala-i-Jangi, a historic fort in Mazar-i-Sharif. Mr. Spann was focused on one particular high value detainee, American John Walker Lindh, who had trained at al Qaeda’s infamous al Farouq training camp, where at least seven of the 9/11 hijackers also spent time. Weeks before the 9/11 attacks, Lindh had reportedly met with Osama bin Laden.
On that day during a violent prison uprising, Mr. Spann heroically defended himself against impossible odds and Mr. Tyson fought his way to safety after first trying unsuccessfully to save Mr. Spann’s life. Mr. Spann was our nation’s first casualty in our war on al Qaeda and the Taliban.
Bravely collecting intelligence while in harm’s way so we could detect and preempt threats to our homeland before any harm could be brought to our citizens, Mr. Spann was a paragon of CIA spy operations. His memory inspired all of us who followed in his footsteps. Mr. Spann had three children, including his eldest daughter, who was 9 years old when he was killed. My heart breaks for them, especially every Father’s Day.
Welcoming his dad home from what he understood was a dangerous mission in Afghanistan, Mr. Tyson’s son, then 8 years old, referred to his dad’s mud covered boots as “Dad’s lucky boots.”
And that about sums up how I feel on Father’s Day.
My dad passed away when I was already in my 50’s. Every day I spend with my sons is a blessing. On this Father’s Day just as I have every year, I’ll be overcome with gratitude for having the great fortune of celebrating with my sons the best part of my life.
